Bravery

I am learning to be brave.   But not the bravery that is required to jump out of a plane or speak in front of people. Not the kind that is required when applying to a new job or standing up for someone.   Oh how I wish it was that kind of bravery.  …

In That Moment

“Your praise will ever be on my lips”   And in that moment, I knew.   I flashed back to when I was before the church stage forcing the powerful words out of my lips. Tears streaming, body shaking, forcing my heart to exclaim, “Despite the depression, Lord, I will praise you.”   I thought back…

To Be Understood

I wish you could understand. I wish I had the words to explain to you what its like. I wish it was a burden only I had to bear.     I wish I could tell you how it’s not just butterflies. Its not just a jittery feeling that eventually goes away. It’s not just…

The Gardner & Healer

Healing. Isn’t that what we all say we want?   I have hit my knees begging God to heal me of depression and anxiety. But only recently have I learned what that actually means. I just want the quick fix – the magical removal of my struggles. I want to pray a prayer and have all anxiety…

Heaven’s Perspective

Lord,   Sometimes I feel like the Israelites.   Calling out in the middle of the desert tormented by the evil that has claimed ownership over me.   Wondering if you hear me, if you hear my plight.   Do you see my tears, my sweat, my hurt?   I cry out in agony day…

My Refuge & Strength

It is my favorite place in all the earth: Ethiopia. It is the place I dream about. I have thousands of pictures, memories, and pieces of my heart scattered around the country. I planned the trip for months and would tell anyone and everyone about it that would listen. I started counting down the minute…

What I Want You To Know About Living With Anxiety

I wrote this post for another blog Rage Against the Minivan.   I want you to know that I hate it. I want you to know that I don’t understand it either. I want you to know that sometimes you make it worse.   When I was a freshman in high school I was diagnosed with…

Seen

“I’ve been really worried about you. You don’t seem to be as happy as you were last semester. Is everything okay?” “Yea, I’m okay, it has just been a really hard semester.” “Oh, I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay. It has grown me a lot too – with pain comes growth I guess.” “Yea, that’s usually…

The Start…

So the thing about me is… I struggle with anxiety. And this isn’t an issue that no one else deals with. It is a horrible reality that many people face and isn’t enough support for. This blog will be a safe place – a vulnerable place. A place where we can know that we are not…