The Hidden

Written on a bus in Honduras, 10/26/16: I wear my anxiety on my sleeve…  But only to hide the depression. Anyone could ask and I could/would talk about anxiety for hours. I could tell you anything: The times it’s worst. What pills I take. How I cope. How I get others to understand. But I…

To Be Understood

I wish you could understand. I wish I had the words to explain to you what its like. I wish it was a burden only I had to bear.     I wish I could tell you how it’s not just butterflies. Its not just a jittery feeling that eventually goes away. It’s not just…

Heaven’s Perspective

Lord,   Sometimes I feel like the Israelites.   Calling out in the middle of the desert tormented by the evil that has claimed ownership over me.   Wondering if you hear me, if you hear my plight.   Do you see my tears, my sweat, my hurt?   I cry out in agony day…

how?

How do you not you see it?   I don’t understand. Can’t you see my soul screaming out? Can’t you sense the loneliness eating me alive? Can’t you hear me crying myself to sleep; see my bed shake with my sobs? You were right there.   Why are you blind to my insomnia at night…

Depression – what?

Last night I had to face the very real and scary possibility that many other people with anxiety have to face. Depression.   It is no longer something I can simply excuse and ignore. Being “blah” every day with no desire to function is no longer something I should accept and be okay with. I…

Seen

“I’ve been really worried about you. You don’t seem to be as happy as you were last semester. Is everything okay?” “Yea, I’m okay, it has just been a really hard semester.” “Oh, I’m so sorry.” “It’s okay. It has grown me a lot too – with pain comes growth I guess.” “Yea, that’s usually…